Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
