I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize