My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
