how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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