We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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