I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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