My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
