My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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