erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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