Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
