i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh god it's open bar.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
