there's paper in my vomit.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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