I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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