Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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