I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
