Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
