problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
