There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
