Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
