This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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