i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
