Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
