I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
