i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
nutella sex= disaster
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
