i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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