is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you would pick up someone in the library
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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