Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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