great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize