the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize