Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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