shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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