Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize