i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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