I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There's always time for handjobs
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
