wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
