We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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