I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
