We named our party play list daddy issues
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
