I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
