covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize