I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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