Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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