Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
