then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
