guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
