i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
