I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
