So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
