you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
