he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
