end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
