I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
lets start a swedish sibling band together
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
