I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
