his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize