is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize