I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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