Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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