I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize