Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize