i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
