I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
there's paper in my vomit.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
