It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
