Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
