idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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